Last Updated: Apr 12, 2019
Freshman year is one of the most memorable years of your life. It's a time when school is still magical and classes actually make sense. Freshman year also serves as a time of self-discovery, which means that practically everyone does a few things they regret. I love playing “spot the freshman” with my friends, mostly because it’s easy and pretty dang amusing. Here is my list of all of the freshmen I get a good kick out of meeting, and for all of you freshmen, the person you don’t want to be.
1. The upperclassman underclassman
There is always a group of freshmen who think they know as much as everyone else. I’m sorry, but one week ago they didn’t even know what half the buildings were called. These freshmen also like to make fun of other freshmen for being dumb, but they still make some pretty fresh mistakes of their own.
2. The gym rat
Fitness is super important, I totally get that. What I don’t understand are the freshmen who act like they have a $20,000 gym membership that comes with an education.
3. The underachiever
Freshman year is a glorious time where you get to build up your GPA before it gets torn to shreds. However, there is always that freshman who gets caught up in the shiny new toy that is their university and has to fight their other three (or more) years to try to recover.
4. The overachiever
This freshman may not have a regrettable GPA, but they'll look back at their freshman year as a time they could've made lifelong friendships but didn’t. Not only that, they'll subsequently hate every single freshman they see in the future who's having the time of their life.
5. The Houdini
Unfortunately, we all make friends with that freshman who disappears after one semester. They come, they become everyone’s friend, and they leave.
6. The Mrs.
Ever since the first days of coeducational facilities, students all across the nation have gone to college in hopes of finding “the one.” Maybe this only happens at my private Christian college, but every year we are infused with (typically, but not exclusively) female freshmen who either flip from guy to guy in hopes that one of them sticks or attaches to an upperclassmen like a puppy.
7. The novel
This person manages to turn a “hey, what’s up?” into their full life story.
8. The high school hotshot
They were captain of the basketball team. They were valedictorian and class president. And they will never, ever stop talking about it.
9. The couple
They are the absolute cutest pair who came to college together and are absolutely staying together and getting married because their love is just so beautiful and unique...at least, that’s how they see it.
10. The 10-second best friend
Remember that freshman you met yesterday? No? Well, they remember you, and when they see you tomorrow they'll act like you guys went to kindergarten together. They'll also add you on Facebook before you get back to your dorm room.
11. The ghost
This is the one person who you'll never actually meet. You may see them eating by themselves and you might even have a class with them, but otherwise you have no chance of any interaction. They're probably someone you would actually like, but such is life.
12. The codependent roommates
Okay, I was guilty of this one. This dynamic duo can be seen together everywhere, has all the same friends, and probably get mistaken for each other on a daily basis. Their Instas are full of #selfies together and you question if they're actually two separate people.
13. The superior major
It’s bad enough when upperclassmen act like they're better than everyone because they know they're going to make bank when they graduate. But when a freshman does it, it’s pretty laughable. The average student switches their major three times, so it’s probably best to save the bragging for a few semesters. Or forever. That would work too.
14. The residential commuter
Some freshmen absolutely adore the freedom that comes with entering college. However, others don't adjust quite so quickly. One way students cope with this transitional period is by going home every weekend. And half of the weekdays. And basically commuting despite living in the dorms.
15. The lanyard
Getting used to carrying a student ID 24/7 takes a minute and a few mistakes, and lanyards make the acclimation a smooth process. However, it's rare to find any student who isn’t a freshman wearing one around their neck. It’s like a dog tag for mini college students.
I could write a whole book about the mistakes and “fresh moves” I made during my first year of college. I’d say pretty much anyone could! All you can really do is look back, laugh at where you were, and appreciate how far you've come.
Any others to add to the list? Tell us with a Tweet!