Advice for Parents of Children Who Don't Want to Go to College

I'm a second-generation college graduate and the first in my family to go to graduate school. However, I've never believed that college is for everybody. If your high school student does not want to go to college, your first reaction should not be to turn pale or cry. It should be to ask why.

I’m a second-generation college graduate and the first in my family to go to graduate school. However, I’ve never believed that college is for everybody. If your high school student does not want to go to college, your first reaction should not be to turn pale or cry. It should be to ask why.

There are many reasons your child may not want to attend college, the first of which could be a misunderstanding of what college means. Talk with your children about their aspirations; college might not be the right path for them, but, then again, they might not be aware of its benefits in helping them reach their goals. Maybe they want to enter the workforce, serve in the military, take a year off for travel, volunteer, participate in religious or missionary service, or pursue another lifelong passion.

If it’s technical skills your student is after, there are many training programs and classes that cater to those seekingparent student fight a career in auto mechanics, manufacturing, skilled construction, and more, including some nursing fields. Many of these courses can be found at a local community college. One caution: pre-professional degrees offered by community colleges are usually considered “terminal degrees.” Few, if any, of the credits earned are transferable to a four-year degree.

While associate degrees may get a recent graduate to an interview and possibly into employment, they do not always help graduates who want to advance into leadership positions. Military service is one exception, but the decision to enlist should be an informed one. Soldiers have the opportunity to learn many trades. However, the military is like any other business in the sense that it places a higher priority on positions it needs to fill. The soldier’s desire to learn a trade comes second—sometimes a distant second—to the military’s needs. To their credit, many military recruiters work with prospective recruits before they enlist to ensure a mutually beneficial relationship.

Government agencies, charities, and other nonprofit organizations often sponsor programs for young adults such as AmeriCorps that encourage high school seniors to take time off from school and engage in community service. AmeriCorps gives its departing members an education grant that can be used for future college bills or to repay student loans 

The greatest concern is when high school students have no idea about what they want to do “when they grow up.” For students who are trying to figure things out, it may be a matter of giving them six months or a year of living at home, with expectations such as continuous employment and contributing to household expenses. After some time, the realities of paying one’s own way may set in, while college or other aspirations may have time to flourish.

No matter what your child decides, remember that as long as she or he is making healthy decisions, often the best thing to do is explain the responsibilities and consequences of each action and inaction they are considering. Sometimes it’s best to let your student learn on his or her own.

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