10 Signs the End of the School Year is Turning You Into a Zombie

Writer, Senior Editor, Wintergreen Orchard House

May   2015



May is Zombie Awareness Month, a campaign that was launched by the Zombie Research Society (yes, that’s a real thing) in 2007 in hopes of educating people about the threat of a zombie apocalypse. Enthusiasts don gray ribbons, which are “meant to signify the undead menace that threatens our modern light of day” and “acknowledge the coming danger that we may all soon face.”

May also marks the winding down of the school year for millions of students across the country, and regardless of whether you believe in flesh-eating monsters, you might be feeling like one during this final push toward summer (or graduation!). That’s because, contrary to popular belief, being bitten by a zombie isn’t the only thing that will turn you into one. Homework, standardized tests, and finals can all leave you with a zombie-esque thousand-yard stare . . .

1. You’re becoming increasingly clumsy

"Ugh, too tired to function . . . "

FallingZAMC via lightlybuzzed.com

2. Your vocabulary is becoming . . . not good

At some point, you’ll have crammed so many SAT words into your head that they'll all just come spilling out, leaving you with the conversational skills of your four-year-old cousin. “Mom. Need food. Much hungry.”

Summit Entertainment via midwesternbooknerd.wordpress.com

3. Your condition is contagious

Your smile once lit up the room and your bubbly personality was infectious. Gone are those days. Now your grumpiness is making everyone around you feel like Crazy Craig.

Columbia Pictures via pinterest.com

4. Your brain is fragile

You’ve spent the past nine months or so sitting through class after class and hitting the books. Your exhausted, zombie-like brain is the most vulnerable part of your body by now.

izombie the exterminator
Warner Bros. via tvfeels.com

5. Moving around, even (or especially) just to get out of bed, is cumbersome

And once you’re up, your strut is more like Frankenstein's than Gisele's.

Via pins.justinlang.info

6. You’re unaffected by things that used to bother you

The slings and arrows of pop quizzes and hefty reading assignments bounce right off of you—an unemotional, zombie-like defense mechanism.

pirates of the caribbean animated GIF
Walt Disney via giphy.com

7. You’ve developed a one-track mind

Like a zombie does little else but hunt for its next meal, all you can think about is surviving the next few weeks.

bored animated GIF
Via giphy.com

8. Your fashion choices aren’t as on fleek as they once were

Maybe you aren’t looking as ragged as a character from The Walking Dead, but your sense of style has definitely seen better days.

Paramount Pictures via blog.myflashtrash.com

No. No it's not.

9. You’re running on instinct rather than intelligence

Like a zombie, you've been reduced to your most basic instincts at this point, like you're running on autopilot. School, eat, sleep, repeat.

Via imgur.com

10. You’re hungry for human flesh

Whoah . . . wait a tick. You might be an actual zombie. This just got kinda' awkward . . .

Via forums.bigsoccer.com

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About Stephanie Farah

Stephanie Farah

Stephanie is a Writer and Senior Editor at Wintergreen Orchard House, where she manages the collection of data from schools in the Northeast and Midwest regions. Stephanie holds a B.A. in English from the University of Texas at Austin and a master's in journalism from the University of North Texas. At various times she has been: an uncertain undergrad, a financial aid recipient, a transfer applicant, and a grad student with an assistantship and a full ride. Stephanie is an avid writer, traveler, cook, and dog owner. She looks forward to sharing her experiences with college-bound students and the counselors guiding them along the way!  

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