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College Admission Essay Ideas That Just Don't Work

Some college application essay ideas are bad, and you may not know which ones are. Here are some essay ideas that don't work and potential alternatives.

You know you need to stand out in your college application essay—but you must stand out in a good way. While you might be convinced that your college essay is sure to impress the admission committee for its...uh..unique approach, it may not go over as well as you think. In fact, it might be downright bad. When it comes to inventive application essay topics (or formats, for that matter), you don't want to go too far. Remember, the purpose of the application essay is to convey who you are, what’s important to you, what you’ll contribute to your community, and your college readiness. The application essay ideas below are simply bad at achieving those goals. Trust me: you can be genuine and creative without them.

The foreign language essay

Writing your application essay in a foreign language might seem like a standout way to show your passion for the subject, but even if you’re planning on majoring in that language, it’s still a bad call. You don't know what languages the admission committee speaks, and they have enough to worry about without getting your essay translated for them. Instead, write about your trip to the Dominican Republic and how speaking only Spanish made you realize you want to teach the language.

Related: 6 Tips for Retaining a Foreign Language After High School

The poem essay

A poem instead of an essay
Can get a little bit messy
Try as you might
They often sound trite
As well as contrived, I must say

Okay, that’s not very good, and likely the essay won't be either. Poetry is hard, and ever more so when you put your creativity under the constraints of an essay prompt. Hence, don't go this route for your application essay. Instead, write about your tradition of writing a poem for your grandmother on her birthday, or some other memory related to your love and passion for the writing art form.

The Devil’s Advocate essay

Being controversial for the sake of being controversial has never been a good way to win hearts or minds. And that won't change today! Your future college is looking for thoughtful, passionate students, not shock jocks. So don't try to fight for something you don't believe in. It'll only come off as disingenuous. Instead, write about your experience on the school’s debate team and how you use your voice to argue for what you believe in.

The edgy rebel essay

Going along with the themes of the previous type of essay: Expletives. Violence and gore. Hot-button issues. What you might see as showing your edgy, rebellious side might come across as disrespectful to the admission committee. And why would they admit you if they don’t think you would represent their school well? Write about how you love words, their cadence and meaning, and how one of your favorites happens to be a swear—without actually using the naughty word. 

Related: Admission Granted: Examples of Successful College Application Essays, Volume I

The oversharing essay

If it’s related to bodily functions, it’s probably not an appropriate essay topic. And this includes sexual experiences. Please, please do not talk about your sex life with your partner as part of your college essay. It’s not romantic or empowering; it’s awkward and inappropriate. If you're interested in gore, instead write about how you were the only kid growing up who wasn’t grossed out when someone skinned their knee and how you found the coagulating blood fascinating, you future pathologist, you. Or if your sexual identity is important to you, broaden that topic to discuss how that identity has shaped your experiences as a high school student.

The arts-and-crafts project essay

Your application essay isn’t an extension of your art portfolio. Don’t submit a papier-mâché sculpture of the person who most influenced you. In fact, don’t send in anything the application doesn’t specifically ask for. It doesn’t help your case for admission, but it does make you look like you can’t follow directions. Write about your penchant for knitting, how you use it to focus, and how the click-click of the needles helps you calm down when you’re stressed. It will convey the same sentiment as the creation of the art itself. 

The big picture essay

Questions of great significance—Why are we here? Where are we going? What does it all mean?—can lead to insightful writings and conversations, but they’re terrible application essay topics because they have little to do with who you are. Not to mention, they can come off as grandiose and pretentious, but when the goal of your essay is authenticity. Try writing about your favorite memory that includes you contemplating these big-picture ideas, like lying around the campfire at summer camp, looking at the stars, and talking about philosophy with your friends.

Related: Admission Granted: Examples of Successful College Application Essays, Volume II

The sob story essay

This is a tough one because a personal or even societal tragedy can be hugely influential in your life. Even so, this is another essay topic admission counselors recommend avoiding, since it’s hard to get a sense of who you are as an applicant, however moving your story might be. If you really have overcome adversity and can tell the story without sounding like you're looking for pity, this could be an empowering approach. But if you think you'll just be mining for sympathy, try instead writing about how much you value being the person your friends turn to when they need a shoulder to cry on and how your experiences have taught you how to better help others with theirs.

The Friday Night Lights essay

Have you ever watched a sports-related TV show or movie and thought, “This is really similar to that other sports-related TV show or movie I saw.” Well, it’s a lot like that with sports-related application essays, if you know what I’m saying. Admission counselors have seen and heard it all before. If you want to write about your sport, think of a unique approach, like writing about how you used your time on the bus rides to and from away games to sell homemade energy bars and save money for college.

Related: Admission Granted: Examples of Successful College Application Essays, Volume III

There are a lot of things that do work in admission essays, but while a ton of people will give you tips on how to write your best essay, sometimes it's good to know what doesn't work. You can't know what to avoid unless someone tells you to do it. So this is us telling you to avoid these essay topics to ensure you're writing a unique and standout essay that will get you into your college of choice. 

Now that you know all these college application essay don’ts, what are the do’s? We’ve got you covered with our article How to Write the College Application Essay, and if you want a new approach to your application essay, why not try an application video?

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