There are plenty of articles that offer tips and tricks on how to survive high school and even how to get an A+, but what about advice on how to fail? There are those among us who have no aspirations other than working at a fast food restaurant their whole life. If that’s you, then you’re in luck. Here is a simple and easy formula to fail high school and fulfill your dreams. If you follow these six simple guidelines, not only will you not have to stress about finishing high school, but you won’t have to worry about filling out those pesky college applications, much less going to college. Here it is, the easiest way to reach your goal of having no goals:
1. Don’t pay attention
If you want to fail high school, don’t pay attention in class. Doze off, daydream, doodle, cut class—anything will work. Class is when the teacher will tell you what you have to know for tests and quizzes and inform you of homework. So if you don’t pay attention in class, the logical conclusion is you will fail the tests and quizzes and not do your homework, which will ultimately help fulfill your goal of flunking out.
2. Procrastinate on everything
This is a big one. The best way to do a horrible job in anything is procrastination (trust me, I know). Leaving your big essay for the night before it’s due is the absolute best way to lower your grades. Not only will it be splattered with grammar and spelling mistakes—making it sound like a second grader wrote it—but after a sleepless all-nighter, you will be exhausted the next day too. This will lead you to not paying attention in class, sending you back to the first fail-proof way to fail. One might call it a vicious cycle. And speaking of things that lead to vicious cycles...
Related: Procrastination: Your Top Secret Solution to Better Schoolwork and Creativity
3. Stay up late
This goes hand-in-hand with procrastination, as procrastination leads to late or even sleepless nights. It’s common knowledge that your body and brain need sleep to function. If you don’t sleep at night, your exhaustion will take over in the day, and you will likely fall asleep in class whether you like it or not. Even if you manage to fight the sleep off, you’ll still be groggy, grumpy, and in no mood to take notes or study—but that's your objective, right?
4. Don’t do your homework or study
Only the most determined to fail high school (and the very lazy) do this one. It’s a step above procrastination because it's simply not trying at all. This ties in with #1. The difference is that this is a purposeful neglect of homework and studying, whereas the first is an accidental yet willed ignorance. If you don’t do your homework at all, then you will eventually get a zero, plus whatever disciplinary action your school has in place. Not studying will lead to bad grades, unless you know everything, but if you do, then why would you be failing?
Related: Our Best Advice for Homework, Studying, and Tests
5. Fall into the technology black hole
Without a doubt, technology is the best way for even well-meaning students to fail. It's a trap that every single person falls into. How many times have you opened your laptop to email an essay to your teacher and two hours later found yourself watching YouTube videos and the assignment deadline has passed? Mindless, time-consuming activities oftentimes lead to staying up till 2:00 in the morning, not starting homework till 4:00 in the morning (if at all), and not paying attention in class due to lack of sleep. And we're right back to all the steps before. Technology is certainly a good way to fail.
6. Wait until it's too late to save your grade
Imagine this: You’ve been following these guidelines, and it’s working great—you’re failing your classes. But then, suddenly, you realize you need good grades to get into a good college, and you need to get into a good college to get a good job, and you need to get a good job to live a good life. Failing high school doesn't seem like the way to go anymore, does it? You could try running to all your teachers begging for extra credit. Maybe they’ll be nice and give you some, but by then it'll be too late. Congratulations, you have failed high school.
Related: 5 Important Steps to Take If You’re Unsatisfied With a Subject Average
There are so many other things that can be added to this list, but all your problems mainly boil down to a lack of sleep and a lack of focus on school. If you fall under the category of those who want to pass high school with a good GPA so that you can get into a good college and have a good life, then this is also the list for you. Simply do the exact opposite of these six steps and you will breeze through high school and be prepared for college. I mean let's be honest... we've really been trying to persuade you not to do any of this the whole time, but you knew that.
Your grades don't have to be perfect to get into college. Start searching for colleges that meet you where you're at, even if your best isn't straight As!
